Muse

1. Don’t date because you are desperate.
2. Don’t marry because you are miserable.
3. Don’t have kids because you think your genes are superior.
4. Don’t philander because you think you are irresistible.
5. Don’t dictate because you are smarter.
6. Don’t demand because you are stronger.
7. Don’t stagnate! Don’t regress. Don’t live in the past.
8. Don’t throw your life away on absolutely Mr./Mrs. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.
9. To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
10. Don’t bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
11. To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
12. Simplify your life.
13. Don’t commit when you are not ready.
14. Don’t keep others waiting needlessly.
15. Go on that trip. Don’t postpone it. Say those words. Don’t let the moment pass.
16. Do what you have to, even at society’s scorn.
17. Write poetry.
18. Love Deeply.
19. Walk barefoot.
20. Dance with wild abandon.
21. Take care of yourself. Don’t wait for someone to take care of you.
22. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination.No one completes you – except you.

After many car rides and passing trees, I sat at the edge of my bed. The sentences I see is fading. Your voice once so clear is stumbling. My lids are heavy. And it is now dark.

I woke but it wasn't bright. The candles are all around. They cry and walk away. I turn back and suddenly everyone is no more. The melancholy is thick in the air, almost choking. Everyone's falling apart. The room is hollow as the emotion within the chambers.

No more cries resonating from where I stand. The northern smile had break apart. The southern charm had left me. The eastern grin is dying and my western heart is shredded. Where would the compass now point? It's as if life can be so fragile suddenly. Without warnings.

It is hard to watch people you know slowly waste away. It will never be fair in our eyes. But we still see them walk on strong, stronger than us who are without ailments. It is not fair to be the one watching. No, it is never fair.

Everyday, someone you know falls sick, fails life and passes you without a breath. We have been so busy with out own muddles we fail to see them sail away. This year, I hope to see you.

..but it was precious. And it played beautifully once then. Could never finish writing that darn blog on my India trip. It was highly fascinating, definitely an eye-opener. It's as if I walked through India with all its train rides and dust and grime through a dream. I wont say I wanna stay any longer cause I do miss my car, my bed and my lil red pillow.

Many nice people dropping in and out of our journeys. Many smiles, quirks and also many wary faces. Its a trip of education and appreciation. We learned the ways of the unfortunate, shadowed their footsteps, for we could never walk in their shoes unless we lost our own pair. We see poverty in its rawest form. We now feel blessed for the home we are housed in. Despite the comical leaders and parody on the roads, we are far better off than most of them.

A new year with such travesty of new beginnings. There's no such thing as new beginning, I learn. Every beginning I realized is a continuation of the past we left hanging of left abandoned; in haste or in waste. The more we try to run from the infringement of the past, they seems to double their takes and come chasing us back around the next corner. It is sometimes so so hard to let go of what we had grown fond of. Will we ever find that replacement? Will we want that replacement? They spoke of co-dependency. Co-dependency where two parties cling on to each other despite the uneventful ending they knew of. We swagger sometimes. Sometimes we fall, sometimes we get pulled up. But that swagger is all we need to know we are not invincible.

I cant pick out that glass bead from the marbles. They all clink just the same. I want them swirling about but I dont need them the same. So fickle so fickle. When I finally decides whether I want them or not, they are all cracked and grounded to dust. Pity, oh so pity how it all ends.

And I found out another superpower of mine. I have the ability of recalling actual vocabularies even if I merely glance or heard of them only once. Like 'travesty' which I used earlier. I had never used it in my life. Dont even remember where I heard of it. But when I checked the dictionary, it actually is a word? Awesome aint it? (=



Sky is falling. I'm still standing. Tomorrow's coming, and I am going.

Week 1 and I am alive still, albeit waking up 630 in the morn with Sher taking 3/4 of the bed space and be being pushed to the edge. I now know how the dodo bird feel. Wait, that's not true.. Im way smarter than a dodo.

By the way, India in January is NOT hot! At all! We packed for summer and winter greeted us. The chills of Maharastra is well epitomed in pur 12 hrs train ride from Mumba to Wardha. The best awesomest jiggledy-bone shivering train ride ever. I like.

And I have been a vegetarian for 5 days now and me not dying! Amazing I know. Mebbe can tapau one of the aji here go back to cook for me XD

Packing light should never exist in the vocabulary of a female. I tried. For a 3 weeks stay, I seriously tried! 3 bottoms and 7 tops and it still amass to a considerable space-occupying cuboid! wth? End up staring at that square pile for a whole ten minutes wondering how else to lessen the dimension. Sat on it, squished the air outta it but ntg much worked. Mebbe if I stare long enough it might just shrink to fit? cool....

And my mom and dad had some sense to NOT buy the full length backpack all the kwailo's are carrying about. Cause I dont think I'll be walking then. Proly you know, sledge about with that bag which is as long as I am? Doubt I can stand upright when the bag is fully stuffed. I know I know. I am vertically challenged- outheight by a bag. kanasai.

And if only rupees are ringgits, then I am blardee rich right now.. Im holding a thousand Rs note I tell ya.. I remember the last time I held a one-thousand rupiah... Dreams of a millionaire idealist.

And today was a great day. The day after, I wonder what other surprises are installed. A new year doesnt begin afresh when I have debts brought over from 2009. A-w-e-s-o-m-e.

But Happy New Year ya all nonetheless. (=