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Health streak!

0 comments Posted by muse at Friday, April 15, 2011


It was one of those days where I woke feeling underachieved, unmotivated, ugly and most unhealthy.


In essence, I woke feeling like clicking refresh. hoping to see some new changes in things around you.
I would wait to see if my hair is growing long and straight in pure lustrous ebony.
I'll check myself in the mirror to see if I lost a couple of pounds, twirling a pirouette oh so perfect and can make a professional ballerina go pfft.
Then I'll open the door and hope to see my balcony overlooking the azure blue ocean and awesome wind frolicking my hair.

Yes it is one of those days you wake thinking why not me?

But yeah, that's just me all over and over ranting periodically over the inapparent inadequacy when there's a whole lot others who deserve more rant-time than I do.

Heh. I'm ranting over the fact I'm ranting. Like wtf right? I know.


Life at current

(Morning)

mostly I am still in bed.
or I'll be in the wards tagging my role models.
-I am still wondering how I end up there-
or I'll lie in bed awake

(Afternoon)

usually my day begin in the afternoon
when the room's too hot to just lie in bed doing nothing
when the room just get too choked up
that's when I get up to ransack the kitchen
and cook something up
or I'll just whip out my comfort food and watch sex and the city on his mac
long naps do happen occasionally
or coffeebean/starbucks might get a visit from me while I get on my tumblr addiction

(Night)

my day begins
usually my first meal starts here
-evenings, not night-
work
reading
writing
typing
talking
more more eating
Heading out perhaps?
and sleep comes at 3-4 am only
how unhygienic can I get?


So yeah, what were the changes I would like to add?
  1. Wake and start jogging in the morn before class EVERYDAY ('cept for weekends)
  2. Add my blended fruits regime back in my diet. Mebbe slot in in during lunch.
  3. Cook more. I love cooking. It's my panacea. I probably had mentioned this over and ocer but this is an over-and-over post.
  4. More in-house exercise! (sneak up nerf attack) It always leave me breathless after each 15 minutes session. And such great contentment *grins*
  5. Dedicate a section off to managing my moleskine and scrapbook and crafty thingy.


 

You can't stop global whining while I'm still alive.

0 comments Posted by muse at Wednesday, April 06, 2011


It was a tremulous feeling to have so many unsifted thoughts running through your mind. They kept you in jitters and gave the illusion that your heart is racing though it's pacing normally. It's just strange, how it comes and go and caught you off guard every now and then without reason.

I hate that a lot of things are without reason these days.

But I don't like giving reasons sometimes. So I suppose I have no grounds to whine about it. Annoying. But I could live with it. There's actually a lot of things I should be doing but just don't feel like it.

I'm building houses and plucking pictures instead. Cooking up a dream sounds more superliciously interesting than running a survey or waking to a hurdling commitment. The babies no longer fascinates. The morning sun no long brings about freshness. I'm tired. And cranky. And needy. And listless, restless, everything less.

The room is choking, but I can't summon that much energy to make it spit me out. The bones are moaning in protest. So? I still don't get up. Salmon and soups are swimming in my head but when I stand in the kitchen, it's just looked at me and said, "Get out!". So I got out, all dolled out and scented. Keys checked, Mac checked. So where are we heading they asked.

Dunno. Coffeebean or Starbucks? "Coffeebean!" they chorused in unison. Okays then. Same order, same table, same routine. Tumblr, facebook, mail and music. The textbooks made an appearance once in a while. They placate the rumbling, unsettled emotion. But never for long. And its everyday everyday affair.

So what went wrong? Where did it went wrong? Who made that wrong turn? When did all my routine no longer serves as my panacea? Why now? How did I get thrown back into my own hellhole? Windowless, unfamiliar and insubstantial.

I don't want to go back for my prescription.

 

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