it was an accident on faults of mine, im beginning to see it so
0 comments Posted by muse at Saturday, March 29, 2008
will the wind blow your wild scents away?
deep into the hearts of your intended
can you catch the unsung song of the shadows?
grasp that melancholic shade of turbulence within
then rush to me even in the shroud of vagueness..
and not say a word
but hold the pieces from shattering?
so where is this 'you'...
deep into the hearts of your intended
can you catch the unsung song of the shadows?
grasp that melancholic shade of turbulence within
then rush to me even in the shroud of vagueness..
and not say a word
but hold the pieces from shattering?
so where is this 'you'...
this is one of those years worth noting down in my charted memories. wait, every year since adolescence is worth remembering *smiles*
how many a time i come about the saturation of emotion for that slide of moment? only to trick myself into coming out of it, which i will in no time. came out so fast it made me feel stone cold and emotionally handicapped?
without fear, melancholy or that shaken frame of the whimpering innards. for this long it's been erased from consciousness, the space of aloneness is just the thing i am looking forward to. without intrusion till i am ready. i am sorry for being who i am.
all those lost love and endearments of mine which i can give freely but not take readily
an unfair and foolish trade from the works of a simpleton (=
how many a time i come about the saturation of emotion for that slide of moment? only to trick myself into coming out of it, which i will in no time. came out so fast it made me feel stone cold and emotionally handicapped?
without fear, melancholy or that shaken frame of the whimpering innards. for this long it's been erased from consciousness, the space of aloneness is just the thing i am looking forward to. without intrusion till i am ready. i am sorry for being who i am.
all those lost love and endearments of mine which i can give freely but not take readily
an unfair and foolish trade from the works of a simpleton (=
* * *
(switches to non-cryptic language)
(switches to non-cryptic language)
*stretches* the calendar had just started and it feels so draggy already. hmmms.. will someone pull me out of med school so i can continue living in my dream?
the one which includes a white-washed house with a black couch facing floor panelled windows overlooking the cliff, with a cuppa in hand and jazz in the background?
and that is the dream i like having and hope to have in the near future.. mebbe with this guy i can call a husband? *read: maybe* i am so very the reluctant to share this piece of enjoyment with ANYBODY!
a dog/tiger/panther doesn't count. (or rtf and jaspattay --> adorable toys, or jol-->a soothing gramophone)
and yes, i had always wanna have a tiger and a panther as a pet. i shall not be stared at like some lunatic...
and my bedroom shall have a ceiling of glass for the stars above at night. but in the sun, obviously there's a sun roof. you really think im that daft to be blinded by that fireball? *hey....im thinking david*
then i shall want a balcony for me to stand against the wind so that it'll blow my hair dry. it'll also work as a rendezvous spot with any stranger i might call a husband *grins* moon lightning and waves crashing, bodies closing in and then suddenly................
-pager beeps-
my life as a doctor be damned.
the one which includes a white-washed house with a black couch facing floor panelled windows overlooking the cliff, with a cuppa in hand and jazz in the background?
and that is the dream i like having and hope to have in the near future.. mebbe with this guy i can call a husband? *read: maybe* i am so very the reluctant to share this piece of enjoyment with ANYBODY!
a dog/tiger/panther doesn't count. (or rtf and jaspattay --> adorable toys, or jol-->a soothing gramophone)
and yes, i had always wanna have a tiger and a panther as a pet. i shall not be stared at like some lunatic...
and my bedroom shall have a ceiling of glass for the stars above at night. but in the sun, obviously there's a sun roof. you really think im that daft to be blinded by that fireball? *hey....im thinking david*
then i shall want a balcony for me to stand against the wind so that it'll blow my hair dry. it'll also work as a rendezvous spot with any stranger i might call a husband *grins* moon lightning and waves crashing, bodies closing in and then suddenly................
-pager beeps-
my life as a doctor be damned.
i myself hasn't the time to chart all these down. but reflections into the many past and hanging moments were refreshing.
there's that blushing memory of bold stroke and a smack on that forehead for the spur of stupidity. and a nudge back into the many tunes of reality. as many times i had return to you, i can never shake you off.
cause i know now my walk through the road ahead is guided by you and the tears and anger you make me shed. touching ground, a path of clouded marble are beneath my soles. and the coldness and the murkiness. like the monochrome paintings, there's the stillness in the air.
like the box in which my nimble body fits as a child, the space was comforting, never choking. as per se, you i have embrace.
sick cycle carousel
"lifehouse"
"lifehouse"
9 years of insanity spent together cant be erased
and 11 years of moments drafted together, we can only go on
like twin blooms
on each libra's scale
"for many things are accidental,
even for you and I
of a string tied overnight,
and a knot to last till the end of time."
accidental surprises are always lovely. (= was suppose to just head over the curve and had dinner with birthday boy icky.
and we ended up watching colbie caillat performing 2 songs before femme reluctantly leave for dinner at 945. *laughs*
all in all, it was fun slumbering in the loo, letting loose eveything.. then painting faces on two beautiful dolls and ending the night with fantastic acoustic by colbie (and the soprano laughter of m&m).
laughter's always the greatest dose of anti-sadness.
p.s yee.. your absence was devastating! we had to resort to using m&m's and shaun's fon for pictures... *rotfl*
"barney's dead, barney's dead
he got shot on his head
no more purple dinosaur.."
-femme-
i'm waiting for the hands to wake me
under the birds and above the sea
will you be there to whisper?
amidst the rushes of wave's symphony..
under the birds and above the sea
will you be there to whisper?
amidst the rushes of wave's symphony..
moonshine on the rocks
like silver sun on gleaming mirrors
on a whole bedfull of nonsensical humour
we admit the child within
pinch that nose in scents of dreamery
and pouting in each diminishing moments
to flutter the lashes in awakening,
awakening from the abstract bloom
and pouting in each diminishing moments
to flutter the lashes in awakening,
awakening from the abstract bloom
scenario:
two daft ducks got lost. daffy 1 thrashed directions given by cat. cat went speechless. then there were hissy spat between cat and daffy 1. cat hissed and trots away.
hypothesis:
two daffy ducks proly cock too much in their ponds that they couldn't comprehend cat's directional message.
conclusion:
i bring out the best and worst in people.
truly, there were many wrongs today. i wrongly plant in the minds of people of whom i was pissed at. sorry hairy daffy. i realized it aint you im mad at, but your name just came too conveniently. i was raging at daffy 2. he's the one people would proly defend should i slander him in any minute way *spits disgustingly*
such hypocrisy.
that even i thought otherwise of him on our first few meetings. but it takes a while for the dust to settle, then despite the fact that quack spread his white illusion around, it all seemed so plastic to me.
or perhaps its just only me.
-i would had readily admit that my directions were a tad too brief. but that's as far as i will go to saying sorry. for i had gave them other options. but you had to come and spite me first, then play the good guy by sayin "thankyouforyourdirections" ever so pretentiously and sarcastically.
two can play the game you ugly daffy. lucky i have kittens beside to tame me. or it'll be an ugly picture.
*then again, it already is you hypocritical king*
you're so not worth my pent-up rage and time. walk your arse through that door yourself thankyouverymuch.
for I'm in your steps
when you have too many close encounter with death, you definitely have something to worry about.-though many had said that if you were repeatedly spared from death, you'll have a valid reason to keep on living. me, it's so thrilling that momentarily my senses fail-
i have been damned.
three is almost always a crowd when there's more than one gender involved *grins*
femme asked "would i be marrying the person i'll be dating?" struck me in a moment of surprise. for marriage never came across my mind in any ways -yet-
of course unless if you count my dream wedding dresses and flower bouquets as part of the thoughts of marriage, i had never seriously consider that issue at this stage of my life. but when it did came to me in dreams, i always wake in cold sweats
-married to that one guy, waking to him everyday, cut off from all the other hunks there is, and then there's kids, then the in-laws......-
that even marriage in dreams are nightmare, what more here in Life? shites. i have commitment issues.
but let's rationalize...
I AM ONLY 21!!!
true would be the fact that all the people in the world have many views on love, hate and marriage. i can get in and out of crushes/hatred/ and the almost love..... like it never hurt, like it was never there. i dont know what to make of it. some may think im living on lie and pretence; and underneath that facade of happiness, there's a time of loneliness. while i myself would rather grab someone to cry on, i realize there's really no need for so.
what am i to cry about? the crush who never knew? the feelings you thought were true? the future you want to be?
i believe i am more selfish than that to cry over anything but myself. i dont feel sorry for endearing people in secret. neither do i feel sorry when they found themselves someone to love.
so, there's really no need to wet a shoulder *heh*
but for others, the first cut can hurt till the tears trail blood. we cant call them a fool in love for i know (despite the lack of on hand experience) that our devoted emotions can change even the steeliest mindset.
why and how? perhaps i'll answer that after i get a taste of one *laughs*
for now, i'll just sit and stare at the passing moment, waiting who's gonna stop for me (or not)
femme said im too independent of mind that i intimidate.
*grins*
what am i to cry about? the crush who never knew? the feelings you thought were true? the future you want to be?
i believe i am more selfish than that to cry over anything but myself. i dont feel sorry for endearing people in secret. neither do i feel sorry when they found themselves someone to love.
so, there's really no need to wet a shoulder *heh*
but for others, the first cut can hurt till the tears trail blood. we cant call them a fool in love for i know (despite the lack of on hand experience) that our devoted emotions can change even the steeliest mindset.
why and how? perhaps i'll answer that after i get a taste of one *laughs*
for now, i'll just sit and stare at the passing moment, waiting who's gonna stop for me (or not)
femme said im too independent of mind that i intimidate.
*grins*
huimei & huisze
mei & jols
my vini the poo
another dream another day
i see too many fade away
if you wonder how to make it right
give me everything, everything tonight
i see too many fade away
if you wonder how to make it right
give me everything, everything tonight
we live for so many reasons. for which many are unexplainable and unreasonable. yet despite them all, we live.
sometimes, many a times, i often wonder, how in the world did we came about living at the top of the ladder? with the myriads of bastards and fools at my front and back-gate, im amazed i have not conform to their stupidity.
and the ones who can play their act so well that even you and i wont believe he's a shameless two-timer. i give my applause. to think that they can live their day like any other day despite the damage they had done. it's as if all the shattered pieces of life they wrecked matter not. like those pieces were never a whole figurine they once adored.
and so they move on with life, leaving us to mend those bits and pieces that when even pieced together, wont be the same statue of faith no longer.
but will you move on now? will you take a step back and see what is worth living and what's not? the many other reasons for you to step out of the hole is all beside you, waiting for you to grab the handles, and open all the doors to get away from that hole.
sometimes, many a times, i often wonder, how in the world did we came about living at the top of the ladder? with the myriads of bastards and fools at my front and back-gate, im amazed i have not conform to their stupidity.
and the ones who can play their act so well that even you and i wont believe he's a shameless two-timer. i give my applause. to think that they can live their day like any other day despite the damage they had done. it's as if all the shattered pieces of life they wrecked matter not. like those pieces were never a whole figurine they once adored.
and so they move on with life, leaving us to mend those bits and pieces that when even pieced together, wont be the same statue of faith no longer.
but will you move on now? will you take a step back and see what is worth living and what's not? the many other reasons for you to step out of the hole is all beside you, waiting for you to grab the handles, and open all the doors to get away from that hole.
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