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Packing light should never exist in the vocabulary of a female. I tried. For a 3 weeks stay, I seriously tried! 3 bottoms and 7 tops and it still amass to a considerable space-occupying cuboid! wth? End up staring at that square pile for a whole ten minutes wondering how else to lessen the dimension. Sat on it, squished the air outta it but ntg much worked. Mebbe if I stare long enough it might just shrink to fit? cool....

And my mom and dad had some sense to NOT buy the full length backpack all the kwailo's are carrying about. Cause I dont think I'll be walking then. Proly you know, sledge about with that bag which is as long as I am? Doubt I can stand upright when the bag is fully stuffed. I know I know. I am vertically challenged- outheight by a bag. kanasai.

And if only rupees are ringgits, then I am blardee rich right now.. Im holding a thousand Rs note I tell ya.. I remember the last time I held a one-thousand rupiah... Dreams of a millionaire idealist.

And today was a great day. The day after, I wonder what other surprises are installed. A new year doesnt begin afresh when I have debts brought over from 2009. A-w-e-s-o-m-e.

But Happy New Year ya all nonetheless. (=



I'm like your yesteryears
Blinking in black and white
On reels of films you'll readily burn.

You're like my sad soppy horror movie
I kept seeing over and over
On reels of film I'll readily burn.

The audience are seated,
2009 is being rated,
Let us wrap the decade over.

Many things I am sorry for.
Many things I am guilty of.
Many actions I've regretted.
Many events I'm accounted for.
And yes, I am still here after all.



Christmas is a time of giving. So give kays? I may not celebrate Christmas but I don't CARE! I still wanna have a christmas list! *bawls like a brat*

  1. RM1800 for my dslr fund.
  2. A tin-musical box.
  3. RM500 Borders book voucher.
  4. A new mattress for JB and Taiping room. (Im currently sleeping on paperthin mattress floored by a piece of chipboard)
  5. The new iMac.
  6. A Nokia 6310. (I only need it for texting purposes cause I've concluded at the rate of sms I generate, all canggih phone WILL expire within a year)
  7. A butler to serve me in JB and a hitman to nick off those pests. (Any volunteers?)
  8. A personal hairdresser to manage my lion's mane every morning.
  9. A pig farm for endless supply of bacon and ham (Piglets as pets initially)
  10. A big classic empty sketch book for scrapbook purposes.
  11. A carved chrome bell to hang on my window ledge.
  12. One carton of timtam! original flavour pleasethankyou.
  13. RM500 bobbbibrown voucher
  14. A hamper of cheeses and dips!
  15. One nice silky set of bedsheet! (no hello kitty/barbie/pink fluffy cotton whatsoever)
  16. My cookie monster cookie jar. )= Somebody break promise never get me wan...
  17. 1 tb external hdd
  18. Pretty dingly dangly stuff to hang above my bed. I wanna be a magpie.
  19. A bean bag!
  20. I want an imaginary boyfriend I can throw at my aunts/cousins everytime they ask me if im hitched....
Please do your best to fulfill this poor child's Christmas wish list. Santa will be proud of you!


Where do we begin? With you grimness oh so sniggeringly happy in your corner?

Nowhere. You do not begin with a start nor end with a closure. It is without surprise I feel that warmth of familiarity from the very beginning. It seem normal to have you lingering about me. Like as if you move that world of mine despite what soreness you bring every time you lick that broken skin.

It is my guilty pleasure to indulge in what not of norm, but something of penance. And to writhe in disgust and cry in despair, it satiates. Because like him, we both knows the sin we've engraved somewhere in the past. For that we are deserving. Till to date, we are still searching for that persona we are to become. We are silent of those days we spent on reflection. We are silent on those blames we swallow. Because we are guilty at some point in this two decades of life. I wonder if we will have the time to sit down over coffee reminiscing this ma cherie? Conscience is a bitch, n'est ce pas?

And yes, it is tiring to rent this body out to bear the wrath of others. I wonder if insurance covers it......

Jupiter crashes thunder bolts
In the sky overcasted by teardrops
We have flashes of angst here there
But the sun has already engraved its path.




ehh?

I like random spillage of inspiration to write. Sometimes its a dream I vividly remember. Sometimes its just something that happened. Or sometimes, rarely, I just have this urge to write albeit not knowing what. Then, I'll just google up a word that comes to me in that spur of the moment and scavenge for interesting pictures.

Today is one of those days.

In my dream yesterday, I remembered Petaling Jaya area, SS2, LDP, Old Klang Rd, my sister, my persona, a chest ache and a boy falling into the monsoon drain. Funny how the psychosomatic effects of our mind works. I woke with super tight feeling in the chest with pin and needles sensation. No radiation.

I am finally immune to my sms alert. Considering my bedtime is now 6 am and my breakfast begin at 4pm. So please, in case of emergency, call me after 4pm only. My services are unavailable anytime before that. And it's not shouldn't even be a surprise to anyone if I didn't know today is the day of results. Who keep tracks?

Weather forecast in Taiping is unnecessary. I can tell you what time the sun will shine and what time the first drop of rain will shower our heads. Such a mundanely beautiful weather. Even the night-sky backdrop was pretty. Times like that are good for conversations much missed. Hearing the story of your life told from someone elses mouth. You can only smile in agreement.

Identity searching even at this late a stage. Why not, yes? Life is dynamic. It is not stagnant like that pool of puddle. The bell shaped curve is symmetrically perfect, but it's this idealism that breaks the staunchest of non-believers. What will you catch? Where would you land? This has been a long year. It may or may not turn out the way you sketched it. That perhaps this is not our strokes to cast.

Should we start caring now? In all those affairs we never did? It is indeed interesting how I selectively condone and condemn the principles portrayed by those all around. By what standard and justifications did I used to pick all those values I considered moral? Who knows. I like to think I'm objective as I am right. But I was slapped by someone on that a long time back. I admit I have the ego and pride of a man. Ahahahahah! Damn.

I think you're right Jagad, I might as well finish all the cookies. Jol no come back after all. Why everybody running away from me wan? Im not infectious also.....


I'm careless
I'm reckless
You have to be able to catch me
If you want to walk beside.

A benz skids
A kembara burns
Saturday, aren't you grim today.

Fury unleashed
is the anger foolishly spent
on the Fool of I alone
in the frenzied tears of self loathe.

You are the few
in this minuscule of a globe
whom I would thrash my fury upon
....without a reason.

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